


Beam Me Up

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-30
Updated: 1999-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:13:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Fox wants to buy a starship model and gets beamed into space





	Beam Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Beam Me Up by Blue Mohairbear

TITLE: Beam Me Up  
CLASSIFICATION: XF - Mulder/Krycek humor  
AUTHOR: Blue Mohairbear  
E-MAIL:   
ARCHIVING: Take it, just let me know  
SPOILER WARNING: none  
RATING: NC-17 for graphic m/m sex  
SUMMARY: Fox wants to buy a starship model and gets beamed into space  
DISCLAIMER: Well, that blonde hunky voodoo puppet I bought didn't work so they're still *his*. That is, Mulder, Krycek, Scully and The Big Baldheaded Guy.   
All Star Trek belongs to Paramount, Ken is Mattel's slave and I don't have a clue who owns Robocop. I'm just sure it's not me which is a pity. You should see my neighborhood.  
WARNING: Uhm... maybe Barbie collectors should not read this one. <g>  
What else can I say? Terrible silliness ahead and I can't even blame anyone for that because it's My Own Stupid Challenge. I wanted Alex to seduce Fox in a toy store. Read my friend Jadzia's answer to that! This is our third challenge and, incredibly, Jadzia still seems to love me. Which keeps me alive and in front of the screen. You're the best, Baby!  
If you like the writing style of this story - I've been heavily inspired by the wonderful Helmboy. Visit her page and read her "Discussion" series (Voyager, Chakotay/Paris). [website given by author no longer valid -- archivist]. You will love it.   
Big big thanks to Aries for taking "beta-ly" care of both stories, Jadzia's and this one!

* * *

***********************  
Beam Me Up  
By Blue Mohairbear  
March 8th, 1999  
***********************

"Alex.... look... hey, isn't that cool? Wow, it's *big*!"

Tall, lanky figure stops in front of toy shop window.

"What - oh. Yeah, Fox, sure. Come *on*, I'm hungry."Just as tall but not so lanky figure tugs at lanky figure's sleeve.

"Just a quick look, ok? I still think the 1701-D is the most beautiful one, what do you say?"

Sigh. Tug.

"Fox. The IMAX is over *there*. *This* is TOYS 'R' US. *You* want to see the whales and dolphins in 3D, *I* want the chicken curry in the IMAX Diner. With tons of french fries and a beer. What do *you* say?" 

"Just one quick look in there... maybe I'll find the big War Bird model I want for the office... ok, Alex...???"

Green-Hazel Eyes look pleadingly into Green-Green Ones. Green-Green-Eyed One's heart begins to melt. Grumbling stomach quiets. 

"Ooooh-kaaaay." 

Deep sigh is masterfully designed by Green-Green-Eyed One to show that Green-Green-Eyed One is ready to sacrifice *anything* for Green-Hazel-Eyed One, but is *still* yearning for chicken-curry and expects Green-Hazel-Eyed One to appreciate demonstrated heroism properly.

"Hey, Alex - they have *all* the Star Trek action figures here! And a *lot* of ship models! Wow! Look at that War Bird! All these lights and sounds! You don't even have to paint it yourself, it's all ready! Wouldn't that one look great in my office? Hanging from the ceiling over my desk? I could fire at it with pencils and -"

"And Scully blows a few *blood* vessels when she gets to see it. Not to mention The Big Guy. Fox, they'll close in twenty minutes. Take what you want and come *on*, ok?"

Green-Hazel Eyes look slightly hurt. Green-Green-Eyed One's stomach lurches. Regrets instantly. Idea pops up in Green-Green-Eyed One's beautiful head. Lush lips grin, Green-Green Eyes begin to sparkle.

"Well, no problem... I'm gonna take a pee, ok? Back in a few minutes..." Black Leather Jacket vanishes around shelf with big packages of Robocop action figures.

Green-Hazel-Eyed One shakes head, sighs. Enticing lips smile tenderly. Feels deep love for Green-Green-Eyed One. Beautiful hands try to open War Bird package.

"Look what I found, Fox. Don't you think he looks like you?"

Green-Green-Eyed One is back, holding something under Green-Hazel-Eyed One's nose. Green-Hazel-Eyed One's face contorts into grimace.

"God, Alex. That's awful. Where does *he* look like me?"

"That's "Romeo Ken". First I thought he was a Russian, with that hat. But the jacket and these tight leggings would suit you, Fox... Time they created a "Romeo and Julio" couple. We could take them into bed and torture each other with them."

Deep sigh. Green-Hazel Eyes roll up towards ceiling. "Alex...."

"Okay, okay. I'm quiet. Just choose your starship. Oooooh... look who's here... One of your favourite baldheads, Fox... Jean-Luc Picard!"

Green-Hazel Eyes become watchful. 

"What do you *mean*, "one of my favourite baldheads"...? And don't open that, Alex, or you'll have to buy it!"

Big, round Green-Green Eyes look innocently into slitted Hazel-Green Ones. Beautiful lips smile mischievously. Pink tongue glides enticingly over beautiful lips. Grinning face of Green-Green-Eyed One closes up to not-amused face of Green-Hazel-Eyed One. Pink tongue sticks out and glides over Green-Hazel-Eyed One's lush lower lip. Green-Hazel-Eyed One sighs and closes Green-Hazel Eyes. 

"I just mean.... Fox...." another lick.... "your *other* favourite baldhead is... well... that Doctor from Voyager, isn't he?" Beautiful lips grin broadly. 

"Alexxxx....." 

Green-Hazel-Eyed One hisses *really* threateningly now.

"Okay, okay. We can go if you're ready. But I *still* think this Romeo Ken looks like you, Fox. I mean, he's tall and slim and dark-haired and quite good-looking and has no taste at all regarding his clothes - *ow*!!!"

Green-Green Eyed One meows. Green-Green Eyes shoot accusing look to Green-Hazel Ones while hand rubs upper arm where Black Leather Jacket was not thick enough to protect arm against Real Hard Pinch from Green-Hazel-Eyed One. Green-Hazel-Eyed One turns away to examine huge Bird Of Prey model.

Green-Green-Eyed One watches Green-Hazel-Eyed One standing in front of big shelf, adoring Big Starship. Green-Green-Eyed One feels heart swelling at the sight of entranced Green-Hazel-Eyed One. Feels love and tenderness almost killing him. Remembers idea. Grins. Unwraps Picard.

"Fox..... " Low, silky voice. "Fohoox..."

Green-Hazel-Eyed One turns round and gapes at Green-Green-Eyed One who holds Romeo Ken in one hand and Picard in other. 

"See what you - uhm - what *Ken* does to that Baldheaded Guy?" Green-Hazel-Eyed One watches in disbelief as Green-Green-Eyed One suggestively moves Ken's face in front of Picard's crotch. (Not that there is anything to see.)

"See how the darkhaired guy kneels before the Big Baldheaded Guy? See how he opens the Big Guy's pants? How he takes out that *really* *big* *hard* cock and takes it into his mouth? See how you - I mean *Ken* - lets that hot hard thing glide in and out, sucking at the wet head, licking the precum up - "

Green-Hazel-Eyed One's hand shoots out and snatches Picard from Green-Green-Eyed Brat. 

Pout.

"Aww, Fox...."

"You're sick, Alex."

"Oh - *I'm* sick? I see... that's why you're suddenly sporting that huge hard-on, isn't it? Because *I'm* sick?"

Green-Green-Eyed One glides over to Green-Hazel-Eyed One. Lets hand fondle Green-Hazel-Eyed One's crotch. (Where there is *something* to see.) Enjoys resulting moan. Opens first button. Opens second button. Green-Hazel-Eyed One sways. Then Green-Hazel Eyes snap open. Frantic hand shoves eager hand away.

"Alex - are you out of your mind? They have *cameras* in here, dammit!"

"Right. But unfortunately, the one for this area doesn't work at the moment."

"How do you know - oh no. Please."

Green-Green-Eyed One smiles *really* broad, triumphant smile at Green-Hazel-Eyed One. Falls on knees and opens remaining buttons. Swift, practiced movement brings beautiful, hard, twitching cock to light. Green-Hazel-Eyed One groans. Tries not to faint as Green-Green-Eyed One swallows said cock deep into hot, wet mouth and begins to suck, *hard*.

Green-Hazel-Eyed One doesn't know how long pleasure will be bearable. Thrusts cock madly into tight engulfing heat. Still is dimly aware of fact that being caught means end of career and everything, but doesn't give a shit. 

Only important thought in Green-Hazel-Eyed One's wrecked brain is now *fucking* Green-Green-Eyed One's beautiful *mouth* and *coming* deep, *deep* into it. 

Looks down. Sees Green-Green-Eyed One at his feet. Sees wonderful mouth wrapped around rock hard cock, sucking with complete devotion. Green-Green Eyes look up into Green-Hazel Eyes. Green-Hazel-Eyed One sees mix of love and naked sex in them. Said sight shuts Green-Hazel-Eyed One's brain down. 

Green-Hazel-Eyed One explodes in shatteringly intense orgasm and shoots gallons of hot cream into eager throat of Green-Green-Eyed Beloved, biting on something hard to prevent from screaming. Realizes that strong grip in Green-Green-Eyed One's hair is probably painful for Said One, but can't help at the moment. Feels knees buckle. Then feels strong arms giving support. Then feels being shoved around shelf with big packages of Robocop action figures. Hears female voice from other side.

"Can I help you, sir?"

Peeks around corner while packing back now-soft cock and readjusting clothing. Feels hands still shaking. Sees blonde young girl with nameplate on shirt smiling at Green-Green-Eyed One. Sees said young lady batting eyelashes adoringly. Understands why. Green-Green-Eyed One looks flushed, Green-Green Eyes slitted lustfully, sparkling and gleaming, beloved wonderful lips moist and parted. Green-Green-Eyed One radiates *sex*. 

Sees Green-Green-Eyed Beloved smiling back. 

"Yes, please..." - sees Green-Green Eyes dart down to nameplate on shirt - "... *Sandra*. I'd like these two, please." 

Passes Picard to mesmerized girl. Bends down in wonderful fluid movement to pick up Ken. Passes Ken to even more enthralled girl. Smiles blinding smile with beautiful lush lips. Girl blushes. Stares at Picard. 

"Fine, sir. Uhm - did *you* bite on that?"

# # # # # # # #

"I *hate* you, Alex."

"No, you don't. You adore me. You worship me."

"Definitley not. Why should I?"

"Because I know your most secret fantasies. And because I share them."

"You'll pay for this, Alex. Just wait. You'll be begging for mercy. Soon."

"Oh, great. *How* soon?"

"Have you ever been sucked off while floating between 3D whales?"

"Oooooh, Fox... are you saying you're gonna hunt my Moby *Dick* and I get to shout "There He Blows"? 

"I *hate* you, Alex."

*******THE END*******


End file.
